December 31, 2010
The Good: My neighbour gave me a box of chocolates; on the back of the box it says "Dream It. Believe It. Live It".
I Dream about coming through this a better stronger person
I Believe that will happen because I can't see anything else
I'll Live through this in order to make my Dream come true...
Life really is like a box a chocolates :)
The Bad: Cancer doesn't hurt, it's the treatment that's a killer... a necessary evil I know, and one I'm dealing with, but on days like today it's hard to comprehend why there isn't a better way.... I'm dizzy, nauseous, every bone in my body hurts, my breathing is laboured, fever, voice weak, fingers/ toes are tingling/ numb, and my ribs are left feeling like a fight took place and I'm the one down for the count... I'm feeling like this from a shot I get to keep my wbc's high enough so the chemo doesn't wipe me out, literally.... and the answer to dealing with these side effects is to experiment with a cocktail of other drugs, a necessary evil I have yet to come to terms with...
The What the ??: Today is Fri Dec 31st, I wrote "The Bad" on Tue Dec 28th... I can't believe how things change in just a couple of days. I still have all of the symptoms above but on a much lesser scale that is manageable, and I'm no longer down for the count, I will go out kicking and screaming :) Oh yeah, I still haven’t come to terms with that cocktail either :)
Lessons Learned: I find myself lately listening to people's eyes/ expressions rather than their words; I'm getting to know people better that way. I guess the same can be said for me... earlier this week someone lay down beside me and gave me a hug without me saying a word, that's exactly what I needed at that moment and we stayed that way for a long time never saying a word...
No comments:
Post a Comment