December 5, 2010
The Good: I wasn’t in good spirits today, we had some time between tests, so I chatted about how this process was affecting me and whether or not I wanted to continue given my chances are on the low side. He disagrees with my original diagnosis of inflammatory breast cancer, and has since he’s met me, he mentioned it once before but I thought it was more of a comment than a fact/ belief on his end, or maybe I was scared to go there if he was wrong, or my mind was so freaked out it didn’t register that day... I don’t know... my original Dr. had already convinced me it was inflammatory breast cancer and told me to prepare myself for that...
My oncologist on the other hand disagrees and stands by his diagnosis. He says the reason he still wants to treat me so aggressively is that it is in the later stages, it is a large tumour, but he thinks I can handle the treatments and it will increase my chances of getting through this if we hit it hard and fast, he thinks I’ll be one of the lucky ones... we talked a lot more, not about cancer, but about what he thinks my life will be like now, in the upcoming months, and after. He told me he cared about how I was feeling, and for me to stay on top of him and let him know everything so he can do whatever he can to make it better, whether it’s physical or emotional pain...
The Bad: Crappy week, ended up in emerg Tuesday, felt like shit the other days... this bone marrow shot is hitting me hard... and I haven’t been able to lift my arm (PICC arm) for the last week. My oncologist ended up examining me because there weren’t any other Dr’s available... he realized something was wrong with my arm and started setting up tests...
I left my oncologist feeling pretty good... I was feeling good that is, until I got the results back for my arm an hr or so later and they told me I have a blood clot from the PICC Line, that I’ll need to take daily injections of blood thinners for the next four months, and be monitored on a regular bases by the thrombosis unit as they feared a lung embolism or something related to it travelling to the lung... I was devastated, this wasn’t the end of the world, but it stole my happy time that I only had for about an hour... I walked with them crying to the back room to get my first injection.
The What The ??: I met with the Thrombosis Unit to get training on the injections, brief me on risks, etc... this guy, the thrombo expert felt the injection on Friday was given as a precaution and may not be necessary going forward, I’ll still be monitored but he thinks medication can maintain or eliminate the clot, and if it maintains as is for the duration of the PICC, he’s good with that... and so am I.... I wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t. wow, so many opinions out there... it's hard to know what's right or wrong...
Lessons Learned: So I guess you never know what will happen... but in the process I will hang onto to my happy moments as they come and not allow anything or anyone to take those away...
And today I’m thinking retail therapy is in order
My oncologist on the other hand disagrees and stands by his diagnosis. He says the reason he still wants to treat me so aggressively is that it is in the later stages, it is a large tumour, but he thinks I can handle the treatments and it will increase my chances of getting through this if we hit it hard and fast, he thinks I’ll be one of the lucky ones... we talked a lot more, not about cancer, but about what he thinks my life will be like now, in the upcoming months, and after. He told me he cared about how I was feeling, and for me to stay on top of him and let him know everything so he can do whatever he can to make it better, whether it’s physical or emotional pain...
The Bad: Crappy week, ended up in emerg Tuesday, felt like shit the other days... this bone marrow shot is hitting me hard... and I haven’t been able to lift my arm (PICC arm) for the last week. My oncologist ended up examining me because there weren’t any other Dr’s available... he realized something was wrong with my arm and started setting up tests...
I left my oncologist feeling pretty good... I was feeling good that is, until I got the results back for my arm an hr or so later and they told me I have a blood clot from the PICC Line, that I’ll need to take daily injections of blood thinners for the next four months, and be monitored on a regular bases by the thrombosis unit as they feared a lung embolism or something related to it travelling to the lung... I was devastated, this wasn’t the end of the world, but it stole my happy time that I only had for about an hour... I walked with them crying to the back room to get my first injection.
The What The ??: I met with the Thrombosis Unit to get training on the injections, brief me on risks, etc... this guy, the thrombo expert felt the injection on Friday was given as a precaution and may not be necessary going forward, I’ll still be monitored but he thinks medication can maintain or eliminate the clot, and if it maintains as is for the duration of the PICC, he’s good with that... and so am I.... I wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t. wow, so many opinions out there... it's hard to know what's right or wrong...
Lessons Learned: So I guess you never know what will happen... but in the process I will hang onto to my happy moments as they come and not allow anything or anyone to take those away...
And today I’m thinking retail therapy is in order
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