100 Days of Happiness, Denial, Non Compliant Patient, Carry On...

February 25, 2011

The Good: What is “100 Days of Happiness”?  Its GENIUS I tell you, GENIUS!!

It was given to me last week and its intended use is when I’m having a bad day and need a boost to get me out of a funk, I dip into a basket and retrieve a Day of Happiness, each of which contains a note and a present. 

This week was hard, I had to dip into day 1 and day 2 :(

100 Days of Happiness ROCKS, it made me cry Happiness tears and saved me a trip to emergency as I no longer had the urge to kick something really hard! 

The Bad: I knew surgery was part of the plan, I knew it would happen eventually, I knew all this yet somehow thought it would never happen, denial is a blessing that comes back to bite you.  Physically I’ll heal in time; emotionally the scars are now part of who I am, denial isn’t an option, and it hurts.

The What the ??? She looked at me in disbelief “what do you mean you stopped taking your pain meds, you can’t do that”.  I told her the side effects were worse than the promised benefits, she looked stunned... then I remembered that we are relatively new to each other, and she is not familiar with me being labelled a “non compliant patient” when it comes to taking medication, she'll learn as the others did...  

My surgeon has now joined the ranks of those who want to give me a gentle slap J 

Relax readers; stop shaking your heads... I got a new prescription for pain meds and will give these a shot!

Lessons Learned: A nurse approached me wanting to share her story; she too was in a position where the odds were not promising for a bright shiny outcome. She gets it; the pain, frustration, not wanting to endure one more procedure, the fear... she can see all of that and more in my face.  Her story reminded me why I’m doing this, her hug sealed the deal that I’ll move on to the next step, and her smile spoke more than her words ever could. 

I will carry on...