The Good: I’ve been told on more than one occasion by different people that I wasn’t ready for something, “something” being living
the life I was meant to live, and that I wasn’t ready to do that.
Imagine you’re on a stage filled with windows, and you can peer through each one and see a different phase of your life. I did this and could see clearly through each window and I didn’t understand why I can’t be ready for anything, everything makes sense. These people were wrong.
So now I’m standing on that same stage, not
wanting to look through those same windows as more panes have been added, I’m afraid
I’ll break them, but I look through them all with no broken glass.
I look through the first one and see the same
thing as before, the second is clear as well but something is different, I can see
a picture in the middle as to how it connects to the first. I look through the third and see another
picture showing the connection to the last two, moving on to the fifth I see
how it relates to the Ninth, and I look through the same window and see the
same phase as before but it means something different.
The pictures in between the panes were probably
always there, and although each window was clear in the past, I saw what I
wanted; I wasn’t ready.
The Bad:
The What the ???: Over the last year I’ve tried more and more to live in the moment, and it’s
not as easy as it sounds.
I get caught up in distractions like TV,
Movies, Technology, Books, Daydreams, etc... enjoying the make believe of it. I’m not saying I’ll never do these things
again, I’ll do them less. For instance, when
I’m riding the bus, I don’t use my phone, I have no plugs in my ears piping
in music, and I don’t imagine what I could or should be doing, I’m just being there,
on the bus.
So as I’m doing this, being there on the bus, I
notice this guy smiling... he says hi and comments about the lady with a cane getting
off, and how it will take her a long time to get up that hill, but that she’ll
get there. Then he talks about a trip he
took with his sister to a medieval castle and how they sat in this magnificent
room sipping wine not saying a word, enjoying their surroundings.
He then asked if I worked at the hospital or was
visiting (pretty much everyone on that bus is going to the hospital), I said
visiting. He said he was on his way to
the cancer unit. I, assuming he was a
patient, said I had cancer as well. Turns
out he didn’t have cancer but was a supervisor in one of the units, had been
for 22 years, in a unit I’m all too familiar with.
We walked through the doors of the hospital
together continuing to chat when he touched my arm, looked me straight in the
eyes, paused, smiled, and then said “Carp Diem” and walked away.
Now, the moment I experienced on the bus ride home was an entirely
different story, still a moment, just different...
I looked around to see what’s going on and
notice the guy a few seats away, for lack of a better term, is jerking off. My first thought was “REALLY, REALLY, you’re
doing this here!!!” Then I thought, before
I do something, I have to be sure he’s
doing what I’m accusing him of doing and to do that I have to look again, which
I do, long enough to confirm, yup, that’s what he’s doing. To be clear, he didn’t have the object of
discussion fully exposed as the nylon/ polyester blend athletic pants allowed for
easy access and manoeuvrability. As I
was about to report this “moment” to the driver, he exited the back door of the
bus and disappeared onto the crowded street.
Lessons Learned: I like being in the moment whenever I can... albeit some moments are better than others, and some may require the assistance of law enforcement, it’s still better than being draped by distractions.
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