Welcome to my Journey nicknamed "My Moonstone Journey" for no reason other than that's what came to mind, and it started on October 26, 2010 when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

I thought this would be a good way to unload my week's events as a means to maintain my sanity, as well, an avenue for family and friends to see what's going on.

I had no idea what would happen after October 26th, I have no idea what will happen today, I have no idea about tomorrow, and I'm starting to accept that, and it scares me a little less each day approaching the unknown...

If you're reading this, chances are you're one of those people who are holding my hand through this and for that I Thank You...

Friday, December 9, 2011

Fake Tears, Status, Flash, Thumbs and Kneecaps...

December 9, 2011

The Good: For the first time in a long time I felt some relief in my body.  Was it from the acupuncture?  Was it from the terribly healthy diet gone terribly healthier?  Was it from the new exercises? 

Or was it just some force deciding I needed a Freaking Break???

I have no idea what changed what, and although I didn’t cry tears of joy over this, those fake tears that roll down my face from the eye drops were close enough!

The Bad: I’m having a conversation with a woman who has a not so common type of cancer, not so common as in hers doesn’t have the pretty pink ribbon attached to it like mine does.  She feels that if she had that “status” she’d get more attention, better follow-up, and perhaps greater results if only she had that ribbon. 

I assured her that you can be draped from head to toe in pretty coloured ribbons, even have them tattooed on your body as a symbol of where you’ve been, it makes no difference.  When you walk through those glass doors into the beige walls and lab coats, there are no favourites; we all have to fight from start to finish to be heard, to be noticed, and we all have to push our way through the system even after treatments are done.

The What the ???: Flash Back to company Christmas Party of the past... What will I wear?  Shall I shop for a new dress?  Does this hand bag go with this outfit?    

Fast Forward to company Christmas Party of the future... How many stares will I get from people I haven’t seen for a while?  How much pain will I be in and will I be able to hide it?  Will my make-up run because my eyes won’t stop watering from the lingering effects of chemo?

Lessons Learned: While cleaning out my e-mails, I came across this message from a friend of mine.

“One of the many things we humans share (other than thumbs and kneecaps) is that we all have problems.  Obviously some are trivial and some are most definitely NOT... But we all try to work through them the best we can. They influence us, taint us, scar us, but I think they help us too... only if we overcome them though. They certainly are a part of who we become as the years stream by.”

While this wasn’t a message related to my diagnosis of cancer, I read it as if it was, and I’ll keep it to read again.

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