Welcome to my Journey nicknamed "My Moonstone Journey" for no reason other than that's what came to mind, and it started on October 26, 2010 when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

I thought this would be a good way to unload my week's events as a means to maintain my sanity, as well, an avenue for family and friends to see what's going on.

I had no idea what would happen after October 26th, I have no idea what will happen today, I have no idea about tomorrow, and I'm starting to accept that, and it scares me a little less each day approaching the unknown...

If you're reading this, chances are you're one of those people who are holding my hand through this and for that I Thank You...

Friday, December 16, 2011

Flying High, Snowflakes, Escaping, “Wow” Moments...

December 16, 2011

The Good: I had to get fitted for a compression arm band crap thingy...

And you’re thinking “what the heck is good about this??”

I try on the “standard” type compression arm band crap thingy and I’m not lovin it. I ask if it comes in other styles and she says “yes, I’ll get them for you”...   

She brings out a different style and its ok, but I’m not diggin the poopy beige color. 

I know, you’re still thinking, “what the heck is good about this?”

I then ask “does it come in black?”  “Yes” she replies “it does come in black but not in stock”... so I say, “Please go ahead and place the order.”

I only have to wear this if I fly but it’s gotta be comfortable, and what’s wrong with making it look good too, “fuck standard”!

So “what the heck is still good about this?”

I feel like I’m one step closer to being able to see more of this crazy world we live in...

The Bad: We chat casually until someone mentions I have cancer and I can see her face change, it becomes softer, and she’s careful now with her words, like she doesn’t want them to damage me. 

She asks if I live my life differently now, as if I’ve seen this bright light, angels and wings guiding me, and she waits for me to say something profound...

I have cancer, which doesn’t mean I’m like a snowflake that is destroyed the moment you touch it, I’m stronger than that so please don’t change your words for fear I’ll melt.

She waits for me to say something profound, and I don’t.

The What the ???: The holidays are meant for spending time with family and friends, exchanging gifts, and being thankful for what you have... and all I want to do is escape and get lost in a place where nobody knows my name.

Lessons Learned: If you lower your standards you’ll be disappointed less often which I guess is good.  If you expect less you could also miss out on some pretty good “wow” moments because you never held out, or looked for more, which I think is bad.

I’m not referring to the compression arm band crap thingy, I’m referring to life, and those “wow” moments that are worth expecting, wanting, and waiting for.   

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