June 17, 2011
The Good: I’m scheduled to have my PICC Line removed, the one they said I’ll never notice is there, the one that has not one but two tubes hanging out of it, the one that broke down my skin and gave me a blood clot, that prevents me from showering properly or going to the gym, that get’s hooked on my clothes while trying to get dressed and digs deep into my arm while I sleep, the one that takes two weekly visits from a nurse to maintain... yeah, I barely knew it was there... Are they mad???
I want it gone and I’ve scheduled to have it removed the day of my last chemo infusion; they suggested I keep it longer in case I need to be hydrated over the next few weeks. I will literally drain our vast Canadian lakes in order to keep hydrated and get rid of this damn thing, praise the lords and halleluiah, the PICC Line will soon be history!
The PICC Line is officially gone as of June 16TH, 2011, 2:00PM; I left the chemo unit silently, didn’t ring the bell, didn’t cry, and didn’t look back.... 7 more days or oral chemo to go...
The Bad: Got some hair back, along with a few lashes and brows, and Wabang! they are falling out again. It’s not just about losing hair, it hurts while it comes out... not so much the brows but the lashes and scalp can be painful. I tried not to cry while the clippers ran over my skull but the tears toppled out; this soldier needs to toughen up!
The What the ???: Ok, so what are the odds that someone receives TWO Voodoo dolls in less than a month by people who don’t know each other... hmmmm, and they are both the same brand, not the people, the dolls... and they are dolls used for good and not evil. I did an entry a couple of weeks ago about one my sister gave me that is meant “To watch over your body and help you love what you are.” The new addition is “To protect your Coolness”! She’s pretty funky, orange hair, purple pants with chains...
CC hangs off my purse to keep my “coolness” close by, and while in the grocery store the other day she literally leapt from the strap and threw herself down on the floor, perhaps she got caught on something, or perhaps CC was sending me a message that I’m due for a tantrum, Cool...It was embarrassing though to see poor CC lying on the floor, more embarrassing when I had to retrieve her... she’s one tough voodoo chick J
So my body is being protected by “Miss Understood” and I’m loving who I am, “Cool”... I’ve named the new addition CC for “Cool Caloren”!
Lessons Learned: I’d run around the corner and slam into her full force, it was like hitting a linebacker in my own home, and this was my grandmother. She was a solid woman physically and mentally, and the only grandparent I knew growing up. Granny was a simple woman, lived in Scotland, cleaned houses for a living, raised her children, took care of her husband and played those extra games of bingo in order to win my sister and I those little gold watches; her smile was permanent and her laughter constant. When I found out I had cancer, something opened up in my brain to release much nonsense that cluttered it before and a part of me became happier, I wonder what happened that released her brain....
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