The Good: My blog made its way to The Canadian Medical Association, and as a result I was invited to submit an article to The Canadian Medical Association Journal from a patient’s perspective, what it was like for me having cancer.
I quickly threw something together in less than an hour thinking if I delayed the opportunity would be gone, I know now that wouldn’t have been the case.
I submitted my article and then began the process of having it reviewed, receiving feedback, suggestions, etc... all the while thinking I’d receive a note saying “thank you for your submission BUT...” the message I did receive was, “I am pleased to inform you that your article entitled "The Pink Room" has been accepted for publication.”
It was a pleasant surprise to receive that news, and I hope the article serves it purpose, as in sharing what it’s like to be on the receiving end of health care, being a patient.
The Bad: Social gatherings can be hard... when someone knows you have cancer but doesn’t know what to say, they stare; and I wonder what goes through their head. Sometimes I want to slap them and remind them how rude it is to stare, sometimes I want to approach them and say “yeah, I have cancer, is there something you’d like to ask me?” Maybe I remind them of someone they’ve lost, or maybe I remind them of their own mortality... I don’t know, I’ve never slapped any of them, nor have I approached them, I just let them stare... and I hate it, I feel like some sort of freak on display. I’m not a freak...ok, maybe in some ways I am but I was like that before cancer... but I’m not on display either so stop staring, just approach me, we’ll both feel better as a result.
The What the ???: Went to Freniere to see the Lavender fields in full bloom, stopped along the way at an antique shop to browse. I said to my god daughter “you go first on those stairs, if you make it then I’ll go” they were sketchy to say the least; she’s young though and would handle the fall better than me J. Most people are French in that area, no such luck this time... the owner poked his head around the corner and said in perfect English “don’t worry about the stairs, I’ve got insurance for that.”
In talking to him, turns out he is the husband of a teacher in my hometown, she died in a car accident during my time in high school... he talked about the accident as if it had happened yesterday, in some ways with no emotion, in other ways you could see how broken he still is, he was in that car with his wife and children, and he described how she looked when the impact was over, and how he knew she was dead.
Pain reminds me that I’m still alive and it’s worth living, this man’s story reminded me how quickly life can change, for me right now, pain is ok.
Lessons Learned: I prefer the unexpected to having a map in life; those moments are what I remember most.
No comments:
Post a Comment